Homemade Honey Mustard

Mustard is really really good. It’s so spicy it’s almost palate-cleansing all on its own. Of course, you wouldn’t want to eat it on its own. Well, I wouldn’t. Mr. B., on the other hands, keeps sneaking into the kitchen for a spoonful. And it’s easy. Five minutes, ten if you’re taking pictures and remembering to feed the cats while you’re making it. The hard part is that you’re then supposed to just leave it on the counter for two whole hours while not eating wagyu hot dogs and roasted potatoes. Honestly, I don’t know how that’s possible.

Ingredients

1/2 cup mustard powder

1 1/2 T honey

1 T cider vinegar*

4-5 T beer (we used Santa Fe Nut Brown Ale, though Blue Moon would make the honey and orange pop nicely. Or just use whatever you drink. I’d love to see a version with Guinness.)

1-2  cloves garlic (I used one honkin’ big one, and I don’t like things to be really garlicky.)

zest of 1/2 of an orange

1/2 t salt

An old jar to put the finished mustard in

Directions

Crush and sauté the garlic. Mix mustard powder, salt, garlic, and orange zest in a small bowl. Add the honey and vinegar (*you can skip the vinegar if you want, and just use a bit more beer. I think it would have been better.) and whisk together. Add and whisk in beer, 1 T at a time, until the mixture is just a tad thinner than your usual mustard. Then you leave it alone at room temperature for at least two hours before serving. It’ll look a bit like this:

Once it’s had a couple of hours to ripen, scoop it into your clean jam jar. Serve on everything. Hotdogs, potatoes, sandwiches, toast, meat (it’s pareve!), fish, anything. Keep husbands and their spoons at bay as much as possible.

Meanwhile, make some hot dogs! Wagyu beef is so juicy and rich, I can’t believe it took me this long to start eating it. It helps that the hot dogs are nice and cheap, whereas a whole brisket would have set me back about $70. If I ever need 15 pounds of brisket, though. . .

Anyway, hot dogs. They’re easy. Just don’t prick the skin before cooking them! You’ll let out the magical juiciness! Roll ’em around in a cast iron over medium heat until they’re nice and hot all the way through, about 8 minutes. Boil them in beer first, if you are of the opinion that hot dogs ought to be boiled. They should look like this:

Wow, I need to clean the stove. Please pretend it’s okay!

Then you’ll want to put your hot dog in a toasted honey wheat bun (because you just made honey mustard, see?), smear a little mustard on the bun, and munch like a starved wolverine.

Try not to entirely forget about the potatoes roasting in the oven as you devour. Also, be warned, this is not French’s mustard. Use too much and it will kick your teeth in. Enjoy!

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